why i got real mad one day...

a couple of months ago i was hanging out with three guy friends. the conversation turned to discuss what we should do to occupy our selves that evening. there were several ideas: go for doughnuts at a friends, play some more rook, or go for coffee at Kingfisher. I think that these were the main suggestions but because i got real mad that day i can't remember exactly the options. anyway, that doesn't affect the story. so after the ideas had been suggested we wondered about whose car to take: some one's was broken but could be used if someone had booster cables, someone else's could be used and i had my car. they hummed and hawed. and sat there with foolish looks on their faces waiting for someone to decide.

i had discussed with a few friends how i had been trying to practically practice the enabling of my guy friends leadership development. here was my theory: i would sit back and let one of them decide. this was the way that i had decided to practice submission and practice the enabling of their leadership. i was trying to do this now. i kept thinking, "what in the world is the matter here! why is no one deciding anything. usually this one guy is so good with making decisions! why is he not making one today?" the thoughts rolled around my mind as i sat there biting my tongue. finally, i think i gave up and suggested we go for doughnuts and take my car. drove my car to pick up the boys i still wondered what in the world kept that one guy from making a decisive decision.

as i sat in my car with that, usually good decision maker, guy he suddenly broke my thought pattern with the following statement, "i was being quiet and not making a decision so that the other guys could make a decision." i didn't answer. but i got real mad later and didn't fully understand why until i had had the chance to talk it out with a female friend later that week.

i enable leadership in my guy friends by letting them lead. guys demonstrate to other guys the way to lead by showing them the way. he was trying to lead in the way that i was trying to enable leadership. in effect, he was following my lead by following my actions. all my efforts seemed in vain.

so did i tell him where i think he went wrong? no! of course not. to do so would assume the position of showing the way, thus nullifying the very essence of what i was trying to accomplish.

so what am i trying to accomplish with the publication of this? well, i want to express why i got real made one day...